Changes
by mamdmc
Summary: AU/AH Feeling like his life is at a standstill, Paul braces himself for changes. Can the smart and sexy boy who enters his haven be just what he needs to make those changes.
1. Chapter 1

Changes.

~AU/AH~ Feeling like his life is at a standstill, Paul braces himself for changes. Can the smart and sexy boy who enters his haven be just what he needs to make those changes.

*disclaimer - I don't own these characters and no copyright infringement is intended*

_AN - shout out to Loopy Lou for pre-reading__and to__ Harrytwifan__ for agreeing to beta for me again. your encouragement and advise is much appreciated._

chapter one

_Paul POV_

I need a change. Please, something has to change in my lonely existence. I mean, don't get me wrong; I love what I do. It just gets quite monotonous sometimes, so today is the day I'm making a change.

Well, I'll start tossing around ideas about making a change. Don't want to rush out all wild and crazy like. Ha, that's funny! Me, Paul Lahote, wild and crazy. Not likely. I was young and stupid once, yes, but never wild and crazy. Guess the craziest thing I ever did was when I moved away from La Push and opened this cafe/book store.

I've always loved to read, and privately I would write, but have never had the courage to share this with others. When I was younger, I wasn't exactly the studious type. Like I said earlier-young and stupid. I was led too easily, and often let my temper fly without thinking of the consequences.

I guess I behaved that way so no one could get close to me, the real me. Going through puberty is hard enough (no pun intended), but coming to accept yourself and your sexual preference at the same time-while keeping it hidden from the rest of the closed-minded people in your community-is quite difficult.

So, if most thought I was the young and ill-tempered hot head I outwardly portrayed, then so be it. I knew who I was, and back then, I was counting the days until I could escape and move far away and live the life I wanted.

For me, far away meant Park Slopes, Brooklyn in New York. Here, I'm surrounded by like minded people, culture, museums, and all forms of performing arts. It's a breath of fresh air compared to the stifling air I endured growing up.

Here, I can be me. Over the last few years, I've enjoyed learning more about myself and truly accepting who I am. I'm still unwilling to share those findings with others though.

Don't get me wrong. Since moving into this neighborhood, and starting and establishing my little business, I've been noticed by others, and even propositioned by various different people. You wouldn't believe how many people see a young, successful single man as a challenge-something to conquer. I was once offered a large sum of money to pretend be the boyfriend for a customer, a female customer at that. I didn't want anything to do with it.

For the most part, I prefer to be by myself. Me and my books, my greatest love affair.

That way, if I don't put my heart out there, it can't get damaged, broken, or abused. It's much safer to keep it here locked up every night in Unplugged.

Unplugged is my little piece of heaven. How can I describe it? Let's start from when I was that kid who kept his love of reading and books a secret from everyone. A boy who loved getting lost in the characters, their worlds and fantasies. A boy who knew, as an adult, nothing would make him happier than to be surrounded by books all day, everyday.

And that is exactly what I have done.

I've managed to acquire a silent business partner, and I opened a little cafe-slash-book store. What makes my little store different from other coffee houses in the area? First, no wi-fi; therefore, the only devices allowed on in the store are my Mac and my iPhone (on silent ,of course). All customers have to turn off phones, laptops, tablets, etc when they enter, and enjoy each other. And if they so choose, the books.

These aren't the typical mainstream books. I prefer to stock smaller publishing companies or self-published authors. Also, you can't buy the books; you can read them while on the premises, or rent them if you've found one you can't put down.

The best part about owning this business is reading and selecting all books I want to stock. There's nothing like finding a gem and helping to spread the word.

While I thoroughly love and enjoy owning and running Unplugged, I'm starting to feel life is getting a little stagnate. I need someone to share this with. It doesn't have to be the be all and end all of romances, but some spark and passion would be welcome.

Seth POV

I dislike moving. Guess it's because I haven't done it too much. Being born and raised in the one house in La Push there wasn't a reason to move. Although I always knew one day I would, as I had a love of music I knew I would move away to study it further.

I only wish it wasn't the death of my father that helped push me. He always knew I wanted more from this life than what La Push had to offer me, and encouraged me to follow my heart and dreams.

When I was accepted and offered the chance to study at the Brooklyn Conservatory of Music, even though it was on the other side of the country, my father couldn't have been happier or more proud of me.

It was all finalized and paid for; I would be attending the Conservatory for the next three years. My family was helping me prepare and pack when it happened. I will never forget the sound of my father falling to the ground, gasping for breathe.

My sister ran as fast as she could to get to our community's elders, and to contact the police and ambulance from the local town.

Our elders rushed to my father, but were unable to do more than pray and guide his spirit to its final resting place with our ancestors.

The medics arrived too late as well. They were only able to confirm my father had suffered cardiac arrest.

Of course, our family was distraught, so I wanted to stay with my mother and sister. We argued constantly about this over the next few days. I didn't feel right about leaving, but my mother insisted, stating it was what my father wanted, for me to leave La Push and live my dreams. She wanted me to honor his wishes.

With a heavy heart I did leave my mother, my sister ,and my little community a few days after my father was laid to rest.

So here I am, a year later, and moving again. Not as far this time. For the last year ,I had been living in a dorm room in a building close to the Conservatory. They offer these dorms only to their first year students.

As I successfully passed my first year at the Conservatory and would continuing my studies, I was required to move out of the dorms and find other accommodations.

So bottling up all my emotions of the last time I had to move, I convinced some of my dorm mates to help me move. We grabbed my stuff and set off to my new home for the next two years.

..xfsx.. Please R&R would love to hear your thoughts.


	2. Chapter 2

Changes

*disclaimer - I don't own these characters and no copyright infringement is intended*

_shout out to LoopyLou for pre-reading and to sue273 for agreeing to beta for me. _

_AN - sorry for the delay in posting this second chapter, RL getting in the way of the fun stuff. Also I will figure out the spacing soon, sorry._

_AN 2 - at the end of the chapter._

_Chapter Two_

_**Seth's POV**_

I was lucky enough to find a little basement apartment on Berkeley Place I'd be able to afford. It was perfect; only a couple blocks to the Conservatory, and a block away from where I work part-time at Carson's Dogs on Union Street.

When I'm not studying or practicing, I'm usually walking dogs. I love to be outdoors in the beautiful weather, and I love dogs. It isn't practical for me to own one, so dog-walking is the next best thing.

Usually, when I return from walking the dogs at Grand Army Plaza Park, I walk straight along Union Street back to Carson's. As it's such a beautiful day, I decide to go on a little adventure and try a different direction. I hadn't really explored up around St John's Place, so I start there and head down towards Union.

There are so many wonderful little boutiques, cafes, and tea shops along the way. I come to a stop at the traffic lights on the corner of 8th and Lincoln Place, and see a little cafe that intrigues me.

The big bold lettering of the sign reads 'Unplugged', and a rainbow flag painted on the glass of one of the windows sparks my interest. I know once I return the dogs, I'll be coming back here.

As usual, getting the dogs to settle down back at Carson's takes a few minutes, but there aren't any extra problems today, and after receiving my pay for the week, I'm on my way back to that store.

Sitting down outside at an empty table, I spend a moment to take it all in. Above the door hangs the sign 'Unplugged' with a smaller sign attached:

**UNPLUGGED**

_A place to explore, unwind and relax_

_Please turn all devices off when entering_

Through the window closest to the street, I can see shelves of books. As the rainbow flag indicates, it seems to be supportive of the LGBT community. That alone would've made me go inside, but the unmistakable aroma of fresh ground coffee wafting out the front door entices me to enter.

I turn my cell phone off, and after looking at the menu selection on the blackboard above the main counter, I approach and order myself a latte. While waiting, I casually walk over to the bookshelves I'd seen through the window.

Wow! The collection of books is amazing. Nothing mainstream in here. Everything is only for our community.

I say 'our community' because it's easier for me, although I'm not quite sure which part I fit into just yet. I know you don't have to 'fit' into one category of LGBT, but for my own self-satisfaction, I would like to know for certain.

You see, I've had a girlfriend and I've had a boyfriend (at different times obviously), but neither felt quite right. It was more natural being with Brady than it was with Angela, but still something was missing with him. So, I've come to the conclusion I'm bi, leaning more towards men. Oh, I don't know, maybe it's a person thing and not a gender thing, and I just haven't met _my_ person yet.

Shrugging off my thoughts and focusing back on the shelves in front of me, I find myself standing in front of the M/M section. Glancing across the spines, I take in names of the titles, and some of them jump out at me. I will definitely be reading some of these.

Snap to Attention by Delphius Fanfic

Collar by Emmett's Submissive.

Taking What Is Mine by Forbes Steele

Meant To Be by Fr333bird

Never Tear Us Apart by Loopy Lou

Backstage Pass by Mina Writes Slash

Of Jealously and Everlasting Love by Mrs Agget

Picking up a few, I look at the inside cover and notice the books are either from smaller publishing houses or self-published. Curious about this, when my coffee is ready, I head to the counter to inquire.

_**Paul's POV**_

Gavin's shift was finished, so after he made the latte for the customer, I tell him he can go home for the day. Picking up the ordered latte, I turn to call the customer, but he's already standing there looking at me. I'm struck by his warm, milk chocolate colored eyes and I can't see anything else.

He smiles while reaching for his beverage. "Hi, I'm Latte." We both stand there in a trance-like state with our hands on his hot drink.

A light nervous giggle from him breaks our eye contact and my hold on his drink, but the sound goes straight to my crotch and my cock twitches. Forgetting where I am and what I should be doing, I lean against the counter trying to hide the effect this beautiful boy is having on me.

"I mean: Hi, I'm Seth. How much for the coffee?" He glances up at me through his long lashes.

Shaking my head to regain focus, I reply, "$2.75," as I sweep my eyes over him.

Long dark, almost black, hair falls past his shoulders. Beautiful, flawless face, and his lips... the lower lip slightly more plump, and they are the softest shade of rose in color, perfect for nibbling. Slim build, and standing shorter than my 6', maybe 5'10.

My small groan is actually audible, as is the word delicious as it slips off my tongue in a whisper.

_Seth_. I let his name roam through my thoughts, happily letting it go to places that haven't been visited in a long time. I wonder if he is as sweet as he looks. Steeling myself, I take the first steps towards the change I so desperately want.

Taking the money from him, our fingers brush, and for the briefest of moments, my pulse thunders. Not daring to look at him, I turn my attention to the register and provide Seth with his change.

I need to occupy myself with something, or else I'll end up staring at the most beautiful boy I've ever seen. I don't want him to feel uncomfortable. I don't want him to leave.

I gather the cleaning cloth, the large box of raw sugar cubes, and the serving tongs from under the counter, and make my way to the closest table. My mind is on autopilot as I wipe and refill, all thoughts and senses concentrating on him. I notice when he takes a sip of his latte and wanders over to the books again.

While Seth is glancing over the shelves, I want to get closer to him so I can see which section he is focusing on, see if I can offer any suggestions, but I don't. This is Seth's first time in Unplugged. He needs to explore on his own, and I'll be here if he has any questions.

Lucky for me, Seth has questions. He approaches me as I clean up after the last customers.

I school my features before I turn my attention to him, ready to answer his query.

"Um, excuse me? Who chooses the books that make it on the shelves?

"The owner mostly. Why? Do you write and would like your book up there, too?" I reply with a smirk.

"Oh no, strictly reading for me. Was just curious because of the subject matter, really."

"Aw… well, the owner is a supporter of love in all forms, but only wishes to encourage and promote those of the LGBT community here at Unplugged. All the books we have are either self-published or from smaller publishing houses, but only of the 'gay' persuasion. The owner believes every writer deserves to be given a chance with their first publication, especially within this genre."

A huge smile graces Seth's face, reaching all the way up to enhance his beautiful eyes.

A look I hope to see more of in the future.

It's getting late, and I need to prepare the cafe for closing. In no way do I want to rush Seth out the door, but I do have a business to take of. I chuckle to myself at my own thoughts. I'd never been in this situation before; so taken with someone I'd just met and immediately wanting more.

Seth, hearing my chuckle, looks up at me with a quizzical expression then glances around. He seems to notice we are the only people left. He turns on his heel and I think he is about to leave, but instead, he heads to the M/M section on the shelves again and makes a selection.

Approaching the counter with his chosen book, he asks what the procedure is for renting.

"First, you will need to read and sign a contract. It covers us in case of loss or damage. At the bottom, there's a section for your basic details: name, address and cell number. Also there's a yearly fee of $10 to be paid up front. As for the actual rental of the books, they're all $4 for a two-week period. I can give you the contract now and you can take it with you if want to think about it some more."

I pause to make sure we have eye contact, and his milk chocolate orbs draw me in further. After a moment, I continue, "Or you could stay and fill it out now. I can process everything for you, then you'll be all good to take that book with you when you leave tonight?"

I hold my breath, waiting and watching, while he takes another sip of his latte. I'm sure Seth is thinking about leaving, and if he does leave, I really don't know how I could persuade him to stay.

_AN 2 - the fanfics mentioned in this chapter are some of my faves on this site. Huge TY to all the authors for letting me use the titles to their wonderful stories. When you get a chance check them out._

_xxfsxx R&R would be much appreciated._


	3. Chapter 3

*disclaimer - I don't own these characters and no copyright infringement is intended*

_AN - Thanks to Loopy Lou for pre-reading and to sue273 for beta-ing. I appreciate you both. mwah. _

_AN 2 - at the end of the chapter._

_Chapter Three_

_**Seth's POV**_

I know it's getting late, and I know I should go, but I'm intrigued by him. Him… I've just realized I don't know his name. I'm standing here contemplating being locked in with someone I've only just met AND I don't know his name. No, I can't stay.

"Maybe it's best if I take the contract with me. That way I can look over it and you can close up for the night."

Looking down at the book I've chosen, I feel disappointed to be leaving without it. This type of book is new to me. It looks interesting and now my curiosity is piqued.

_Oh well, another time_. I pick the book up off the counter. "I'll just return this to the shelf for you."

He grabs my wrist, stopping me. "Seth, how about you take the contract and the book with you." He looks over my selection again, and with a smile, he continues. "Aww, this is a good one. I hope you enjoy it and I'd be interested to hear your thoughts on it."

Thanking him for his faith in me, I promise I will return the following day with the signed contract, plus payment for the fee and the rental.

A few minutes later, I'm home and looking through the cupboards for something to cook for supper. Normally I like to cook. I am no gourmet chef, but I do like to cook and try new things. However, with my mind preoccupied with this book and the man, who despite having never seen me before, trusted me, I think I'm ordering in tonight. Hmm, it feels like a Vietnamese night to me.

After placing the call, I get comfortable on the sofa with my borrowed book. As much as I want to sink into the pages and lose myself, I can't seem to get the cafe or the sexy man out of my head. Picking up my laptop, I decide it is time for some Google searching.

Unplugged—there it is—the last result on the first page. Clicking the link, it opens up a very colorful page with a picture of the cafe and the sign proudly displaying front and center.

Browsing through the page and all the attached links, I am startled when the doorbell rings at exactly the same time I click on the 'Owner's Profile' link and staring back at me is the man from earlier.

The doorbell rings again. The delivery guy is impatient tonight. I huff as I drag myself away from the screen. After paying the cute boy and rushing back to my coffee table, I place the food down without taking anything out. It can wait for a few minutes. I want to know more about the man I met today.

"First, I'm getting comfortable," I mumble to myself while going to the bedroom and change into my navy blue sleep pants.

I can't believe the gorgeous man I talked to earlier is the owner, Paul Lahote. I asked all those questions. God, I must have looked so young and naive. I hope he didn't see me that way. Wonder why he didn't just say he owned the place?

Reaching for my food because it smells too good not to eat, I continue looking at the website to find out more about Unplugged and Paul. He really is a stunning man and to be able to gaze at him, even if it is a picture on the laptop, is something that I'm going to enjoy. Although it would be so much better to gaze upon him again in person, but this will do for now.

Tidying away the remains of my fantastic meal, I relax back on the sofa with the book I'd chosen. I still can't believe he let me leave with it, or how easily he trusted me. I'll have to make time in my day tomorrow to go back and thank him.

As interesting as the story is, it doesn't hold my attention. My eyes keep flicking back to the open laptop. He really is a stunning man. Tall lean body, short dark brown hair but a little tousled on top, dark expressive eyes to match his hair, and smooth caramel skin.

The way his shirt fell from his broad shoulders today and the way his jeans would hug his hips. Of course, I couldn't help but notice when he bent over to wipe the table tops. A groan escapes my lips and my cock stirs as I remember Paul bending to reach for something under the counter. Snaking my hand down the front of my sleep pants, I rub my hand over the heat of my thickening cock.

Dropping my head back to rest against the sofa, I close my eyes and see his face. Taking a firm hold of my now solid cock, I stroke slowly as I replay our interactions from earlier. It's not long before my pre-cum is pooling and sliding down to my dydoe piercing. I rub my palm over the head of my cock to help coat my hand. Holding firmly at the base, I drag my hand up my cock and then release it completely, doing this just a few times before I focus back on my swollen head. Short strokes with a squeeze and twist at the top.

God, I can see his smirk and the glint in his eye when he checked me out. My hand moves faster and I moan when I remember him adjusting himself against the counter. I bet he tastes delicious.

Stretching the elastic of the pants, I push my other hand in to take my balls and squeeze firmly. Fully stroking now from base to tip hard and fast, I open my eyes and they land on his smiling face still on the screen. Tugging even harder and faster, I imagine him here while I'm doing this in front of him, but he's just out of reach, letting him watch but not touch.

Argh! That smirk flashes across my mind again as my lower stomach muscles tighten and I groan his name while I shoot thick ropes of cum up onto my chest.

Sighing as I slow down my strokes and come down from my high, I reach for the extra napkins on the coffee table and clean myself up.

~x~

_**Paul's POV**_

Watching him leave my cafe so soon was not what I wanted for this evening. I was hoping to entice him to stay, but was at loss at how to make that happen.

It didn't help when I suggested he take the book he'd chosen. He smiled his response. His smile leaves my brain befuddled. All thoughts freeze. He truly is beautiful.

The thought of seeing him again tomorrow pleases me and this will give me time to work on my charm. Ha! Like I have charm. That is definitely something that has not been said about me before. Maybe I could suggest going somewhere, but where do you go for a first date if you already own a cafe?

Hmm… I wonder if Toby would have anything available over at Terroir on 5th? Quite pleased with myself for thinking of it, I call Toby and hope they're not having a rush so I can inquire. A smile breaks out across my face when he informs me he can reserve a table for two for the following evening. Let's hope I have the courage to go through with this when I see Seth next.

Closing the store tonight is done in a blink of an eye. Probably because my mind isn't completely on task, and if anything is out of order tomorrow, I'm sure one of my staff will be more than happy to mention it to me. Gavin and the girls get such a kick out of telling me when things haven't been done correctly. It makes me chuckle because I have good employees who care and that's important.

Stepping outside, the night air feels a little heavy and damp. Maybe it'll rain tomorrow. Frowning, I hope that doesn't alter my chances of seeing Seth. I wonder how he's enjoying that book. Definitely a bold selection, I think with a smirk.

My dreams are full of long dark hair and bright smiles. I can't believe how much this boy has overtaken my thoughts.

Walking into the kitchen the next morning, I grab a bowl of granola before I head back to the café. It's inventory day. I need to take stock of what we have available, who's borrowed what, and I'm hoping I have time to purchase a few new selections to add to my shelves. Of course, I'm not thinking at all about making sure I'm there for opening just in case a certain someone should pop by.

Throwing open the curtains in my front room, I see what I'd heard but hoped I was wrong. Complete downpour. The rain hits the windowpanes with such force I actually flinch and back away from the sill.

I grab my umbrella, even though I only need it for the few steps it takes me to get down the front stairs, run around the corner, and open the cafe door. I drop it into the large empty pot plant I leave near the front door.

In dire need of my first cup of tea—yes, that's right—I own a coffee shop and I drink tea. I have a special stash only for me. I turn on all the machines and get the water boiling before I head to the back office.

Right. Paperwork. Paperwork. I really don't want to sort out what we have on loan. What I really want to do is find some new novels. Browsing through the latest publisher listings I received yesterday, I spot a couple I think will fit in with my selection. Definitely "Pool of Silver" by Romancing the Boys, and I think, "I'm the Fly on the Wall" by Dorchester. This should do me for now. After reading the authors' blurb, I can't wait to read these two stories.

Abby arrives shortly after I finish my first cup of tea and starts her daily routine. First, her expression is of surprise, but then she glares at me. "And what has you here so early?"

"Oh, calm down. I need to clear up the inventory paperwork. I'll stay out of your way after I refill my cup."

I've never noticed how often the chimes over the front door ring until this morning. Every time I hear them, I turn, hoping to see his beautiful face. I am driving myself crazy with this. I haven't behaved like this before, so how is it that after less than an hour with Seth I'm completely distracted?

After what feels like the millionth chime, he walks through the door. Sopping wet, but still smiling. Perfect timing as I have just finished with the annoying paperwork.

I walk directly to the coffee pots to make Seth a large latte. Timidly, I hand him the hot beverage while gathering my courage to take the first step towards the change I hope he's a part of.

Despite the warmth of the drink, Seth's teeth start chattering and I notice he is soaked to the core.

"You didn't walk here without an umbrella, did you?"

"N..No.. A big gust of wind pushed my umbrella the wrong way and broke some of the prongs. It was useless, so I ditched it." Seth grabs napkins and wipes his face.

"I think I should get you out of those clothes." The words completely bypass my brain filter and blurt out my mouth.

Seth's jaw hangs open in stunned silence. Before he can respond, I feel my blush rising, covering my neck and face, hoping my darker skin tone will not reveal too much. Thankfully, all my staff are busy elsewhere.

I shake my head to clear my thoughts. "I mean, if you want you can come up to my apartment and dry your clothes."

_AN 2 - the two fanfics mentioned in this chapter are faves on this site. Huge TY to the authors for letting me use the titles to their wonderful stories. When you get a chance please check them out._

_xxfsxx R&R would be much appreciated._


	4. Chapter 4

*disclaimer - I don't own these characters and no copyright infringement is intended*

_AN - Thanks to Loopy Lou for pre-reading and to sue273 for beta-ing. I appreciate you both. mwah. _

_Chapter Four_

_I shake my head to clear my thoughts. "I mean, if you want, you can come up to my apartment and dry your clothes."_

_**Seth's POV**_

Well, if hearing this doesn't put a smile on my face, I don't know what will. He just invited me into his home. I can't believe my luck. Going by his blush, he seems a little shocked he said it, but I'm taking him up on his offer.

"Actually, you know what? If you're really ok with it, then that would be great, thanks"

Paul, still with a slight blush, looks around for his staff and nods to me. "Hold on. I'll just be a minute." He walks behind the counter toward what I imagine is the office.

I hear Paul telling his staff he's going out and to call his cell if they need him. Then he confidently strides towards me, grabs my hand in his and heads to the front door. Before we leave, he reaches for an umbrella from the large pot next to the door, and then we're out in the rain and the cold.

Paul leads the way, and honestly, I'm hoping his apartment isn't too far. I don't think I can stay in these clothes out here for long. I really am dripping wet. I could easily go back to my place, but this promises to be way more fun.

Out on the sidewalk, he tightens his grip on my hand and directs me around the corner and up the stairs that lead to the three apartments above his cafe/book shop.

Quickly shaking the umbrella to remove any excess water, Paul releases my hand so he can retrieve the key from his front pocket.

He flashes me a smile as he opens the door to reveal a foyer. There's one door on this main level and a wide staircase heading up. Taking my hand again, he tells me our destination is on the top floor.

In silence, we approach his apartment. I'm sure his mind is a whirl of thoughts, as mine is.

Once he pulls me inside, I wonder if he's going to push me up against the closed door and kiss me, or maybe that's just what I'm hoping for.

This doesn't happen—quite the opposite actually. Paul lets go of my hand and walks away, leaving me standing by his front door.

Well, what do I do now? I feel kind of stupid standing here dripping water everywhere. Looking down, I see a nice little puddle and wonder if I can sink into it. This is not turning out how I wanted it to.

_**Paul's POV**_

What am I doing? First, I tell him I have to get him out of his clothes, then I bring him up here to my apartment, and now I'm muttering to myself. Fantastic. Reaching into the closet in my spare bedroom, I get as many towels as I can carry and head back to the front door where I left Seth.

Oh God! Shaking my head, I realize I just left him there without a word. I'd pulled him inside and walked away—really smooth, Pauly.

As I walk back towards my front door, I'm struck again by how beautiful Seth is. His long dark hair is plastered to his face. He hears me approaching, turns his head toward me, reaches up and pushes it back from his face. His long sleeve T-shirt, which is stuck to his body like a second skin, rises, and I partly see his defined abs.

I pull the towels up to my face and try to bury my groan in them, hoping he won't hear it.

"Sorry I walked away without saying anything. I was thinking…well, I wasn't thinking. That was rude of me and I'm sorry."

Seth doesn't say anything. He only looks up at me through his long, dark, wet lashes. An image flashes in front of my eyes of me pushing him up against the shower wall, my hands on either side of his neck, thumbs under his chin tilting his head just a little more. He looks at me just as he is now, then I lean in to devour his lips…

I shudder, and to cover the action, I shove the towels at him.

"Um…" I start to say as I rub the back of my neck. "You must be pretty cold. Come with me, and I'll show you where the bathroom is. Once you've undressed, leave your clothes on the floor outside the door, and I'll put them in the dryer for you, ok."

Scooping up the wet clothes, I throw them into the dryer and start pressing buttons without even concentrating. All my thoughts are on Seth in my bathroom. I have Seth naked in my bathroom. What the hell was I thinking? Argh… I need a tea.

_**Seth's POV**_

Opening the bathroom door, I can't hear where Paul is, so I head back down the hallway looking for him. I find him in the kitchen. He obviously doesn't hear me approaching, so I lean against the doorframe and watch him. His tall lean figure is resting against the sink, and he's staring out of the window above it lost in thought.

I'm waiting for him to turn around. I want to see his reaction to me just in a towel—to see if he desires me as I do him.

Finally, he turns. I can see the lust in his eyes, and I'm sure mine are radiating the same.

We're alone in his apartment. He told his staff to call him if they need him. It's pouring with rain outside, so I won't be walking the dogs today. We don't need to be anywhere else.

I want him. This tension is too much for me and I can't stop my feet from moving toward him.

Once I'm right in front of Paul, I reach up, cupping his face in both my hands. My right thumb gently sweeps across his bottom lip and I guide his head down so our lips meet.

That sweet first moment when your lips touch someone who you truly desire is amazing. The feelings that course through my whole body at his slightest touch are indescribable, and instantly, I want more.

My lips enclose his lower one and gently tug, encouraging him to continue. His hands slide into my hair and he slightly applies more pressure to inch me closer to him.

Rising up on my toes so my bare chest is against his clothed one, I can feel his heat through the fabric of his shirt, and quickly I'm wanting more—so much more of this man.

I release my hands and move them to his shirt. I need to undo these buttons. Starting at the top, I rapidly undo all the buttons I have access to. The bottom of his shirt is still tucked into his jeans, but I can't wait. I want to feel him against me.

Placing my hands on his chest, I sweep them to the sides, encasing his ribs. They pause there for a moment or two as our kiss deepens. Paul untangles one hand from my hair and places it against my lower back, his fingers kneading the skin just above the towel.

With a groan, I slide my hands under his open shirt and around to his broad back. Feeling the smooth warmth, I just can't get enough and keep sliding my hands up his back to the tops of his shoulders, which presses us together from head to…well, head.

Next thing I feel is the counter against my butt. Paul moves forward effectively trapping me between him and the counter. Moaning again, I know which one of us it is this time. Regretfully, we break apart to fill our lungs with gulps of air.

Paul's dark eyes are swimming with desire and the spark in them ignites mine again after a moment of reprieve.

He releases his hold on me, takes a step back to remove his shirt and drops it on the floor.

Eyes still locked and both struggling for breath, Paul's confidence kicks in, and he steps back toward me, grabbing my ass with both his hands and pulls me to him.

I throw my arms around his neck and hold on as our lips meet again.

Hands squeezing, holding and kneading, lips brushing and parting, tongues tasting and exploring. Nothing is enough.

Impossibly, we pull each other closer, tighter. The grinding motion has loosened my towel and it's about drop, but I so don't care. I'm not pulling away from this.

As the towel falls and Paul's hand caresses my skin, my mouth releases. I rest my forehead on his and I'm panting.

I can't seem to catch my breath. My thoughts are all clouded with desire. This is the point—the point where we agree to continue or pull apart and calm down.

Paul's lips reach for mine in a tentative kiss, then he gently places kisses on the side of my mouth, across my cheek and engulfs my ear lobe.

Hearts hammering against each other, hands still grasping, Paul releases my ear with one final lick and then whispers...

_.xfsx. comments are encouraged._


	5. Chapter 5

*disclaimer - it's the usual. I don't own these characters, if I did we would have seen a whole different kind of movie. no copyright infringement is intended*

_AN - Thanks to my pre-reader loopylou992 and to beta sue273 I appreciate you both. mwah. Also hugs to my friend for your help._

Chapter Five

_**Paul's POV**_

"I'm sorry, Seth." I swallow around the sudden lump in my throat. "I… I can't do this."

Kissing Seth is amazing, but I need to slow down.

We pull apart gasping. He rests his head against mine, one hand at the base of my neck teasing my hair. His other glides across my shoulder, down my arm and rests on my forearm.

I freeze.

Back to reality.

I lower my eyes, breaking contact, and step back to hold on to the countertop behind me.

I close my eyes and wonder what he must be thinking and feeling now that I've backed away. He has no idea what that simple touch did to me, the memories it triggers. Subconsciously, I wrap my arms around myself covering up my left arm.

After a deep breath, I open my eyes, and I'm pleased to see that Seth has covered up again. As hot as he is, and as much as I would love to see more of naked Seth, at the moment I need to NOT see more.

He is so beautiful. It would be so easy to continue, so easy to fall into bed with him right now, but is that what I really want?

He's by far the sexiest guy I've ever seen, but I can't just jump into bed with him. I need more than that. I need substance behind the desire.

I learnt that lesson long ago and I've also got the scars to remind me of it. It's funny how that one relationship was the one I fought the hardest to get away from, but also the one I can never truly forget. It's what I compare all other relationships to, not wanting to make those same mistakes again. So, of course, it stands to reason that relationship is the one which hurts the most.

His expression makes my heart sink a little. He looks stunned and confused. Well, of course he is, he's half naked in my kitchen. We were all hands and tongues a moment ago, and suddenly I pull back.

How on earth would he understand my reasons for doing that? How would he understand my fears?

Sighing, I'm really unsure of what to do. I've never felt so drawn to anyone before, or so attracted to another. I mean, who wouldn't be? Look at him! I'm sure he gets attention from both men and women all the time.

Argh, this is so hard. I'd really like to know more about him. Maybe even be with him, but at what cost? Can I risk opening myself up again, risk breaking my heart?

I rub my hand over my scar. No, I can't do this. It's best to get him his clothes and send him away. I was fine before.

As much as I want a change in my personal life I don't think I'm actually ready for it.

"Wait here, Seth, and I'll get your clothes for you, okay?" And with my decision made, I leave him in the kitchen to fetch his stuff from the dryer.

Slamming the dryer shut, I'm frustrated with myself. "Damn you, Ric!" I growl and mutter under my breath. "Sometimes I wish I never got involved with you and let you hurt me like you did."

_~x~_

_**Seth's POV**_

I can't believe it. He's pulled away. Everything was fine, great in fact. I don't understand. Has something changed? Did I do something wrong? But the desire and want are still in his eyes, but now they're different and maybe even a little cold.

Again he is walking away from me. I wish I knew what's happening and why he's shutting down. I'm guessing because he's getting my clothes he wants me to leave.

Argh! This man is frustrating and intriguing. First, he hides that he's the owner of cafe/book store. Second, he's hot and cold. One minute, he's all shy and timid, and the next, he's confident.

There's something about him. It's like I'm drawn to him. I would really like to know more about him, about the man he seems to keep hidden from a lot of others. I hope he gives me the chance.

But the look on Paul's face as he hands me my dry clothes kind of says it all. I leave the kitchen to find somewhere more private so I can get re-dressed. Don't think me dropping the towel in front of him would help matters at the moment.

I sit on the bed in what looks to be a spare bedroom and take longer than I should. I'm trying to figure what is happening and if he's about to ask me to leave. What do I do?

I don't want to leave. Not now. I didn't before either, but something I did sparked a change in him, and judging by his reaction, it's not for the better.

We've only just met and there is still so much I don't know about this man. So why am I sitting here wondering what I did wrong and how I can fix it? Logically, I know whatever cooled him off wasn't me specifically, but I'm concerned and I want to help. I really don't know how I can. All I know is that I want to.

This level of connection and attraction isn't common; I can't just leave it. The little I know of this man has left me wanting so much more and this goes way beyond the physical.

I want to know the boy he was, the man he is and everything in between—the man who went after his dreams, and hopefully, the man who will encourage my own.

As I leave the bedroom and walk back towards the kitchen, I prepare myself for him asking me to leave.

Paul is not in the kitchen anymore. I find him sitting on the sofa in the front room with his head in hands. I want to go and hold him, but I won't. I clear my throat to let him know I'm in the room. Paul looks up at me through his fingers, sighs, and then drops his hands down completely.

"I… I don't really know what to say." Paul speaks first. "Sorry for the mixed signals, but I'm not… I can't… um… look, I'm sorry what happened in the kitchen—"

Before Paul can continue, I quickly jump in and cut off his speech. "I'm not. Are you kidding? I was hoping something like that would happen. Why do you think I walked into the kitchen wearing only a towel? Okay, maybe I shouldn't have started things that way, but I did and now I'm hoping to take you out so we can get to know each other better."

Paul sits there staring at me with his mouth hanging open. "Did you just ask me out?" I nod. "Even though I was saying what happened in the kitchen shouldn't have happened and was trying to say that it shouldn't happen again?"

"You don't want to kiss me again?" A flash of something appears in Paul's eyes but is gone when he blinks. Argh! I wish I knew him better so I could read his emotions and expressions.

"I think it's best that we don't. Again, I'm sorry, but I have to get back to Unplugged."

Although I don't want to, I will leave, but he will see me again. I am determined not to let us fizzle out before we've even had a chance to see if we can be more.

"Oh, I don't want to hold you up, but could I borrow an umbrella for the walk home, please?" I give him my cutest cheeky smile in the hope of lightening the mood a little.

"Sure." Paul gets up from the sofa and walks to the hallway closet. I follow. As he hands me the umbrella, I lean in to kiss his cheek as a thank you and place my hand on his forearm for balance. Instantly, Paul tenses. Unsure of what made him do this again, I slowly start to rub soothing circles with my thumb.

Paul clears his throat, getting my attention, but doesn't pull away this time. He places his hand over mine, effectively stopping my movement.

Glancing up to see his expression. Paul's clearly not comfortable with me touching his arm and I think that's what happened before. I must've touched his arm while we were making out in the kitchen. That would explain the sudden change and him pulling away.

With a shaky voice Paul quietly says, "The scar's nothing. Just ignore it."

I nod, even though I can see it's 'not nothing', but I'm definitely not going to push.

I remove my hand from under his to cup his face and place a tender kiss on his lips one last time before I turn to leave.

Out on the sidewalk, trudging through the puddles heading home, I decide I'm not letting him push me away.

Fifteen minutes later, I kick off my wet shoes, pick up my saxophone and flop down on my sofa. I've left the borrowed book open on the table. Smiling, I realize I didn't give him my signed copy of the borrowing agreement or the deposit.

"Looks like you'll be seeing me again soon after all."

_.xfsx. would to hear your thoughts. please take a moment to review. thx._


	6. Chapter 6

*disclaimer - I don't own these characters. But the idea for slash book shop that's mine.*

_AN - huge hugs to Lou (pre-reader) and Sue (beta) I put them through a lot with this chapter. Thank you both so much for your support and advice._

Chapter Six - WARNING - this chapter contains an adult non-consensual sex scene.

_Seth's POV_

Tomorrow would be another day, and after my classes, I'll make sure I stop by to see Paul. I have a legitimate reason; I need to give him the paperwork and the deposit, so this will in no way be me just making sure that I'm not out of sight, out of mind.

Happy with my decision to seek out Paul tomorrow, I make my way across the room, sax in hand, to my docked iPod. I scroll through my playlists wondering whom I should listen to. I'm feeling a little Zoot Sims at the moment. Finding my favorite track, 'That Old Devil Called Love', I lean against the wall next to my open basement window and start to play along.

Closing my eyes, I lose myself in the music. When it's just me, the sax and Zoot, nothing else matters. Life is easy and uncomplicated.

Of course, I can't stop playing after just one track, and Zoot and I flow into the next and then the next.

My afternoon passes with me practising and thoroughly enjoying myself. Although after all that practice I am feeling hungry. Time to make myself dinner.

Going over to my little kitchen, I look for the ingredients I'll need to make a yummy dinner for one. Tonight, I'm thinking salmon. Opening my laptop, I go to my favorite food website, Jamie , and start searching.

Deciding on salmon and couscous, I start preparing. Thirty minutes later—I know the recipe says twenty minutes, but I don't know any real person who can prepare a recipe in the time allotted—I'm sitting down enjoying my meal with only the ambient noise from outside as my company.

After playing all afternoon, sometimes a quiet dinner is just what's needed.

While tidying up after myself and doing the dishes, I let my mind wander back to Paul. Smiling, I remember his touch and taste. I can't wait for tomorrow. I'll drop off my contact with the deposit, make small talk, and then corner him into going out with me.

Now that is settled, I have to get back to my studies and prepare my piece for the showcase.

_Paul's POV_

With my head resting against the front door, I close my eyes, and all I see is Seth. His beautiful concerned eyes. He did nothing wrong, but I pulled away as if his touch burned me, and then I tried to completely shut him down.

The way he made me feel when he held me I haven't felt in a long time, maybe ever. But a simple innocent touch from him ruined it all for me again.

I pound my clenched fist against the door once, then drop my hand and trudge over to my sofa.

Ric! Fucking Ric! Why did I have to fall for your charms and why could I not see through them?

I met him my senior year at high school, while I still lived in La Push. Ric lived in a neighboring town, and we met at a party.

I can't even remember who the party was for, but I remember him. He was tall, athletic with short light brown hair, and clear blue eyes. When we met, heat rose in his cheeks and washed over his creamy skin.

Nothing happened at the party between us that night. There were too many people, none of them would understand, but we did manage to trade cell numbers.

And that is how our relationship started. Ric would only ever call me after a party or when he was drunk and wanting to hook up. Sometimes, my cell would go off in the middle of the night, and I was so taken with him that I would rush out to meet him.

We arranged a pick up point. Usually it was behind the convenience store in his town. I would bike over to our rendezvous spot, then he would drive us out near the woods, and we'd make out in his car. Of course, this was on the other side of town, in the opposite direction of the reservation.

After a month or so, making out wasn't enough, so we moved on to blowjobs in the car. On the warmer nights, we'd get out and walk further into the woods.

After three months of tasting and exploring, we both wanted more, but losing my virginity in the back seat of a car, or on a blanket in the woods, was not how I imagined my first time would be.

Both wanting more but a little unsure, our relationship remained at this level. At times, it was frustrating, but neither of us wanted to make the first move.

The month following graduation, Ric called saying he wanted us to spend the night together in a motel. Immediately, I grabbed a bag, pulled some clothes from my drawers, plus lube and condoms, threw them all inside, and was out the door.

I was excited, and of course, nervous. We had been sneaking around for months and no one suspected a thing. Ric wouldn't tell anyone about us because first: that would mean he had to admit he was gay, and second: that he liked native boys.

He texted me the directions and room number, and we agreed to meet at the motel. Immediately, I rang a friend and asked if I could borrow his car. Once I admitted it was for a date, he let me have the keys. I was on the road, arriving at the motel within approximately thirty minutes.

Knocking on the aforementioned door, it was quickly opened and I was pulled inside. Ric pushed me up against the wall and attacked my mouth. Of course, I could taste the alcohol. I was used to it, but this time, it was so much stronger.

In that moment, I wanted him so badly. Ric manoeuvred me across the room and pushed me down on the bed. He launched himself on top of me and resumed his attack on my lips. After a minute, Ric pulled back and quickly undressed. I took that moment to rid myself of my shirt.

Ric worked his way down my chest. He yanked my jeans open, ripping them down my legs but left them around my ankles. He roughly took my cock in his mouth. It felt a little painful, but thankfully, he didn't suck me for long. He wanted to move on; he wanted more.

Letting me drop from his mouth, he forcefully grabbed my hips, turned me over and lifted me so my ass was exposed.

I'd never seen him like this before—rough, demanding and impatient. Second guessing my decision to do this tonight, I scrambled further up the bed, swinging my feet to the floor, wanting to get away from him and over to my bag.

I struggled with my jeans, but I didn't make it very far because Ric tackled me from behind. Panting in my ear and expelling his horrible warm whiskey breath across my face, I winced and turned my head in the other direction.

"Baby," he slurred. "Don't be like this. I thought you wanted this. I thought you wanted my cock in your ass."

With his full weight holding me down, I struggled to breathe and to shift him off me. Nothing I did helped me. It only served to make him angrier that I was trying to get away. Biting my ear, he ripped down my jeans again, which I hadn't been able to secure around my waist, and sank his fingernails into my ass cheeks. While stretching them apart, he forcefully shoved himself inside me.

A scream barked out as pain so intense tore through me. I struggled and yelled NO, but he didn't stop. No, I didn't want him. Not like this.

Still I had to fight to get Ric off me and get away. Luckily, my pain pissed me off and my hotheaded temper came rushing forward, flooding me with adrenaline and purpose.

Turning my head, I found Ric's arm and I bit down so fucking hard. It was enough of a surprise that he momentarily released his weight off me. I threw my elbow back, connecting with his chest. This shifted his weight so I was not pinned down. I managed to roll onto my side, so I could push and kick myself away from him.

Scrambling for my pants, I got to my feet. I had to get out of there. As I reached down to get my stuff, I received a kick to the ribs and was floored again. The force of the impact sent a different pain coursing through my body.

Struggling to think straight, and trying to breathe with the least amount of pain, I lost track of what Ric was doing. He grabbed me. The momentum slammed me against the wall, punching wherever he could make contact. With his rage in full swing, the next thing I saw was the bottle of whisky coming towards my face. I managed to throw my arm up to cover my face just before impact and the bottle broke, slicing through my skin.

I didn't know who was more stunned at that moment, but I was _not _staying there for more. The pain and desperate need to get away fuelled my anger. My left hand flew through the air and connected with his jaw with so much force that it knocked him back a few steps. He stumbled, fell over my bag, and landed on his ass.

Slamming the motel room door, I was in the car within moments. Blood dripped down to my hand. I reached for my spare shirt in my bag, wrapped it around my arm and hand, so at least I could drive without putting blood all across my friend's car.

With no time to check my other injuries, I knew I needed help. I sped away from the motel and drove straight to the medical center back in town.

Cracked ribs, cuts and bruises, along with stitches in places I didn't want to think about, hours later I returned my friend's car. I knew if I had called him he would have come and picked me up, but I couldn't share this. Not with him. Not with anyone.

I suffered alone and I recovered. I also vowed never to be sucked in again by a beautiful face.

_.xfsx. would to hear your thoughts. please take a moment to review. TY._


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